San Francisco Goodbye: A Fond Farewell

San Francisco. What can I possibly say in my final days leading up to my departure? Unbeknownst to you, I have spent the last four, formidable years of my independence creating a mental list of invaluable lessons learned at your hand. No offense to my first loves, Oceanside and San Diego but you, San Francisco, are my inspiration, my muse and my life stimulus.  While I am leaving behind many people and mementos I wish could be easily compressed into my carry-on, I can at least take away with me the following:

* All hail the GIANTS. I love you, Brian Wilson.

*Rain, shine or freeze, there will always be a line outside of Bi-Rite creamery

* If Bart had a scent, we’d call it urine

* If you attend an outdoor, public, San Francisco celebration, expect to see appendages that aren’t just fingers and toes

* I’m almost positive that Mission houses the largest population of French Bulldogs and Pabst Blue Ribbon in the entire city

* If you’re driving during Critical Mass, put your car in park and grab a drink at a nearby bar

* What’s Styrofoam and where can I find the nearest compost bin?

* Fixed gear bikes can take down pedestrians and automobiles alike

* The name, “Folsom Street Fair” is verrrrry misleading. Hardly a street fair.  Call it a exhibitionist of sorts.

* Avoid Union Square on…. well, always.

* The tenderloin is just as scary during the day as is at night

* If you were to ask me, on any given day, what season we’re currently in, I wouldn’t be able to tell you

* Some of the best food in the city comes from a truck

* The 19^th st to 20^th st side of Dolores park is for families and kids. The 18^th St side is for ganja treats and brown-paper-bagging

* The city is only roughly 7 miles wide but on Bay to Breakers, it can feel like 50

* Every street festival is just an excuse for people to get drunk

* Layer, layer, layer: Spastic weather to ensue

*Cabbies are like a box o’ chocolates, you never know what you’re gunna get

*Bacon-wrapped street hot dogs are called Danger Dogs for a reason

*My grandmother can walk faster than Muni

*Ducks at Stowe Lake will not eat old corn tortillas

Until we meet again, adieu, city by the bay. I’ll be leaving my heart.